December 25, 2016
Letter from my Love
Here we are again.
As before; my heart yearns for a forever, fuelled by the burn of our electric dynamism, and her soul hankers at the seams of my clarity & ease… Her impatience worries me, it reminds me of her birth given warrant to command the elements and atoms of all, as she finds desirable. Thus; her push for what she can only see as a simpler path to my happiness, although selfless of her, throws me into the pits of a jealous wind uprooting the forest of what is old & sacred. I will not be forgotten. So, I fight it. I fight her. Because I want to. I will breathe tsunamis through the earth and crash thunderstorms upon the Sun before I let her go.
I insist she is patient. I reassure her of my love. I remind her of my loyalty. I calm her with my time. & at last, she listens.
I never thought I could fall further or harder than I did in the distant memory of starlight warming a rooftop which overlooked an ocean… but it seems that since; I have leaped off of that roof and dove butt naked into that ocean… Now I find myself engulfed in her once again, a lone drop in her ocean, floating through her tide, drifting on her current and drowning in the depths of her cosmic latte.
Our journey led to an explosion of colour. And now it is I who exudes impatience. But it is only because I have never been more certain of her… she has given all of herself to me for the first time, physically & emotionally… It is my first real taste of companionship’s ecstasy. For me it is the opening of the unexplored, and a voyage through the novelty of uncharted love.
For the first time in my life; I know what we have. I know why we have it. I know that it is shared between us. I know that there is only one of its kind & I know that it can only belong to us. In fact; I believe. In her. & In us. She had me the day she gave a 13-year-old kid a cigarette under a suburban autumn, and she has me now.
She controls my mind and my movements like a mantis portraying inferiority in order to encourage its opponents advance. And although I fear a familiar and destructive heartache; I would have it no other way. I have decided to make room for the moment, and in that space, we will do what we have always said cannot be done. Together we will subsist through the storm, our mirth will drown out the thunder & our electricity will make the lightning flinch as the heavens cower before our divine and eternal love.
What was once a toast to forbidden desire, beautiful and broken; now intends its raised glass to a new year. With you.